Writing Challenge

A pastor named David  came to our school last year, he's an author. He taught us some neat tricks about how to write stories. Any way, when he came to our school, I bought his book .In the back of the book, it had a writing challenge, called Pastor Dave's Challenge. What you had to do was choose a Bible story and rewrite it. I chose to do mine on a short man called Zachaeus that climbed a tree so he could see Jesus. ☺




Repaying the Debt
"Zachaeus, come on!" The man said. "That has got to be way over the amount of money I am supposed to pay!"


"No, it's the right amount." I said, looking up to Jacob, hoping he wouldn't figure it out that it wasn't. " The amount has gone up, Jacob, ask anyone you want." Jacob looked at me, not believing a word I said.

"Fine then," He said finally, with an angry look on his face. "You better be telling the truth." He reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out the silver coins. "No wonder you don't have many friends." He mumbled to himself as he almost threw the coins onto the polished, wooden table and walked away.

I made sure no one was looking and grabbed a couple of the shiny coins and put them into my pocket, then I put the rest into the tax box. The sun was hot on my back as I waited for another person to come and pay their taxes. What a job, I thought to myself. I'd do something better but this is the easiest way to get money these days. I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked up at the glaring sun.

"Just about lunch time I'd say." I said to myself. "Better go buy something to eat." I reached under the table that I sat at nearly all day and picked up a sign that said "Closed". I put it on the table and locked the tax box, then put that under the table where the sign had been. I then got up from my stool and started walking down the cobblestone street.

Taking the first right turn into Market Street, I started smelling all of the wonderful scents of food. My mouth watered as I smelt fresh bread, baked earlier in the day and fish, cooking in an oven. I walked up to the nearest bakery and, taking the coins out of my pocket, I started to count how much money I had.

Suddenly someone ran into me! I dropped all of the coins and they fell with a clink onto the stone road. I sighed as I bent down to pick up the coins.

"Move out of the way you thieving shortie!" I heard a woman's annoyed voice say. "Some of us are trying to walk here." I turned around and saw the woman rush away. Why do they have to be mean to me, I though. I never did anything to them! Just because I'm a tax collector and I'm short, they pick on me.

I picked up all of the coins and began to count them again; thirteen silver coins. "I can buy a loaf of bread and some cheese." I said to myself, looking down at the coins. They seemed to sparkle in the sun. "I might get a fish as well." I added happily. I heard the sounds of many footsteps and looked around.

There was a big crowd gathered at the end of the short street around a small dock. More people were rushing up to the crowd and I saw the woman who ran into me standing there with the others. I stopped a man rushing past me and held his arm. "What's going on?" I asked excitedly.

"If you really must know." He said, impatient to move on, panting a little. "Jesus has come, and, he's arriving at the dock!" He shook my hand off and hurried on.

Jesus? I thought. Jesus, the name sounds familiar but I'm not sure. "Oh!" I exclaimed as it finally clicked. "Do you really mean Jesus, from Nazareth?!" I shouted after the man. He didn't hear me but I knew that it was true. I quickly shoved the money into my pocket and jogged to reach the crowd, money jangling in my pocket.

When I got to the crowd, I couldn't see, I was too short! Everyone was at least a head above me. I tried jumping up to see, still too short. I ran around to one side of the crowd where the water was, I couldn't see Jesus so I ran to the other side, still I couldn't see Him. "I'm never going to be able to see Him." I said, a bit sadly. I tried to push my way through the tightly packed crowd. "Please!" I shouted. "I just want to see Jesus, then I'll leave you alone!" I got some angry looks and mutters of annoyance as they shoved me back.

Then, I noticed a sycamore tree, just a few metres away from me. I ran up to the tree and started to climb the smooth trunk. I had got to the fork and turned around to see over the crowd. I started to scan the area for Jesus. I hadn't really seen Him before, but I had a good idea of what He looked like. Jesus was a kind and loving man so He couldn't be hard to miss.

There He was, I saw Jesus in the middle of the crowd, he had just gotten out of the small boat Him and His disciples had travelled in. I looked at Him, all of a sudden, His calm, smiling face looked at me! I quickly looked down but I had to look at Him, Jesus, again.

I looked up and into His eyes, so loving, so kind. Jesus smiled and started walking towards me. The crowd moved out of the way like Moses parting the red sea, His disciples following. He can't be walking towards me, I though. No, someone else in my direction. Soon Jesus was standing right beneath the tree, He looked up and asked, "Zach, what are you doing up there?"

"He's going to get it now." I heard someone mutter to another.

I looked down at Jesus and gulped, "Nothing..." I began, when He started speaking again.

"Never mind." He said with a laugh. "I was wondering if I could come to your house for some lunch, you see, I haven't had anything yet."

"Sure!" I managed to say. "Sure, you can come." I started climbing down the tree. Oh no! My house is a mess! I thought.

"Don't worry about the mess." Jesus said. "It doesn't matter." How...? I thought. Jesus winked at me and smiled.

On the ground, I lead Jesus and His disciples to my small house, with the astonished crowd standing at the dock. I let them inside, quickly picked up a few things and said, "I'll be back in a moment, just need to get some food."

I raced down to the market and bought some bread and fish, boy it smelled good. Then I raced to my friends' houses (all tax collectors) and told them, "Jesus! He's at my house for lunch! Do you want to come and listen to him talk?"

I arrived at my house with my friends and food. "More guests," Jesus said, "Great."

After having a wonderful lunch, my friends and I sat down to listen to Jesus preach. "You must turn from your wicked ways and ask God for forgiveness." He said. "Zach," He looked straight at me. "You must give back what you stole."

"How did you know?!" I asked.

"I mean it, if you love me and want to follow me, you must give it back."

I got up and went to the back room of my house. I quickly got all of the money out of my wooden money box, more than what I had stolen. I wanted to follow Jesus and what I had stolen was not enough to repay for what I had done. I went back to the lounge room, "I will." I said. Jesus smiled His smile that I will never forget. A kind and loving smile.

I raced outside and noticing Jacob, put a bag money into his hands. "What's this for?!" He gasped. "Repaying the debt." I smiled and went down the streets, repaying all of the debts I owed.

I guess this story tells us that we all deserve a second chance. We can do all these bad things like stealing, bullying, or just talking about people behind their backs. But no matter what we do, if we ask God for forgiveness, and if we really mean it, he will forgive us and we'll have a chance to go to heaven. I can't wait!